Call me crazy!

I'm always hesitant to share so much of me with so many of you because well, who cares? Should I be putting it all out there???? Then, I get alone with God and am reminded of why I'm here and why things happen. For a reason! His reason! So, if you're the one who is in need of hearing this...here ya go!

I've always felt there are things you just don't talk about like the most intimate parts of your marriage, money, and (for me) by all means, try your hardest not to complain about your circumstances because it could be worse! There's always someone who is worse off than you. I took that last one to heart especially during the years of us longing to be parents! After we got the news we'd been longing to hear for so long, there were and sometimes still are people who have said, "You and Daniel are so strong and have set such a great example for others during your time of trial." I must confess that almost every time we found out someone else was pregnant before us, I had to have a come to Jesus meeting.  It was hard to hear of someone else getting their wish. So, I'd go in my bedroom and shout to the top of my lungs, "Satan, you do NOT have control over me or my life and I will NOT allow you to step in and make me sad about this!!!! We will be parents someday because Jesus said so!" I know, call me crazy, but just yelling to let out my frustration would make me feel so much better. Then I'd pray for strength and more patience and turn right around to shoot an email to the expecting parents to congratulate them! Because that's what you do! And that's what I wanted people to do for us. I wanted people to be excited for us. And I wasn't going to short change someone else of that happiness and excitement.
We've been very busy lately and haven't been to church regularly and it's killing us! We miss our peeps, but I tell ya today as I travel to Tuscaloosa to celebrate the arrival of our newest nephew,  I realize that sometimes it's refreshing to be out of the routine and just get by yourself with God. It's good to lift up your peeps in prayer and just lay it all out on the table. So, get by yourself and lay it all out there, and if you're like I was and having trouble dealing with infertility, get that out there too. Don't allow Satan a foothold at all in your life! Celebrate with others who are expecting and just remember; somehow someway, someday you'll be a parent!!!

Short and...honest!

I must be honest! I spent most of my last day of summer break cleaning. Okay! Okay! I spent most of my last day of summer break throwing myself a pity party. For whatever reason, I was not looking forward to summer being over. So much so that I called on one of my prayer warriors to shoot a few up on my behalf because let's face it, summer is over for teachers, and there's no turning back. Yesterday was better, but I was still dwelling on the fact that my summer is GONE! Did I do all I wanted to do with my girls? Did I make sure they had a fabulous and relaxing summer? Did I relax enough? Did I spend enough time with my family? My husband? Did we enjoy enough date nights? What is enough? Oh my!!!
It wasn't until this morning in church that it hit me! "Nothing compares to the promise I have in You..." These lyrics to "Shout to The Lord" don't have much to do with why I feel excited about the new school year now other than taking me back to the days when I first knew I'd be involved with teaching and education for a very long time- the days when we sang this song more than we do now and the days when all I wanted to do was share the word or teach a child about Jesus through my actions. As we sang, I could hear my Granny Pettey saying "Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere." Then the guest pastor began his sermon this morning with a few short stories and then, "Why worry when I can pray?"
Yep! Why am I worrying if I spent enough quality time with everyone when all I need to be doing is praying? Good gracious?!!!!! It's that simple. So, that's what I did!
We had sort of a busy early afternoon showing our house that's for sale (yep, that's a plug) and getting some stuff ready in my classroom but were home for a good portion of the rest of the day. The girls were playing inside while Daniel did a little bit of what I like to call "lawya clean up" work. I told him I was going outside to spray the weeds in our flower beds, but what I really intended to do while killing weeds was pray. I prayed for my attitude to be what it needs to be everyday for my students and their parents as well as for my co-workers. I prayed for my leadership. That's a hard job she does, and I'm thankful she does it. I prayed for my co-workers who are more like friends that their attitudes will be what they need to be. I prayed for my students to give their all and then I prayed for their parents to always keep in the back of their minds that I try my best to see their children as my children, their babies as my babies-like little Addisons and little Haydens. I'll love them and care for them, not the same way you do, but just as much as you do. I'll teach them everything I can, and I promise to give your babies my all!
 I prayed because that's what I'd asked someone to do for me, but hadn't actually stopped to do it  myself.

With all of this being said, bring on the new school year! I'm ready and prayed up!

On Independence Day

Nothing extraordinary. Just the usual. Gathering with family and friends for food and fireworks! It's the simple things in life like playing in the back yard,  making it through Moma's photo shoot, watching fireworks, and fishing that make it all the worth while.

 

 Madz is pointing to the baby she's carrying as we carry our babies...

One down and a lifetime to go

I just realized I never posted anything from Addison and Hayden's first birthday party! Go on and have that "Blogger of the Year" plaque done up for me. Whoops! Here are a few shots from the celebratory day! It was a blast and we're super thankful for all who were able to come(even in spirit)!!!

Quit your whining! Daddy didn't leave you.

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, "God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"? Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind. (Isaiah 40:27-31 MSG) 

Whooo wee!! Ain't it grand that God doesn't tire out?? Ain't it grand that He LASTS?!! Not what I had planned to read in tonight's quiet time, but it's not my plan either.

From needles to "needles"

I totally planned this post in my head from the moment I got a text from a dear friend that included the words of my title. I sent her a text last night as I was sitting on the couch and I knew she would be beginning her shot cycle for IVF soon. My text said: "A little funny while you are about to be poking yourself. I'm sitting on the couch right now with both girls asleep on me and both of my legs are asleep. This should be interesting." She responded with, "from needles to 'needles'."

Anyway, I was going to write about our sweet friendship that has just blossomed, but I'm feeling a different kind of needles this morning, and like I just told my friend Amy, you don't ignore that calling! "No, you don't," she said.

This morning on my way to take the girls to splash day at daycare, I noticed the sheriff's department had the ramp onto the interstate blocked off and traffic was beginning to back up tremendously in the other direction. With me being my father's daughter, I turned on the scanner app I have on my phone to see if I could figure out what was going on. No luck. So, I called Daniel and he quickly said there was a very bad accident involving multiple motorcycles. I had some errands to run and took the back way to get to the place I needed to go, but opted for taking the interstate back home thinking the accident would be mostly if not all cleared up. Nope! As I approached the scene, I felt those needles!! You know that feeling when you hear God whispering in your ear or tapping lightly on your shoulder? Well, He was pushing me out of my truck!!! Now, let me just give you a mental image... These are HUGE men with HUGE muscles and God is telling me to go pray with them???? No! I'm scared, God. PUSH! I pulled over on the side of the interstate, turned on my flashers, and put it in park. My heart was about to pound out of my chest as I'm walking up to these men. When I got there, I asked one of them if this was their family. Tears were streaming constantly down his face as he held a sweet little girl. He just shook his head yes that this was his family. I quietly asked if I could pray with them and it was at that time that this HUGE man with HUGE muscles melted in my arms as we knelt on the side of the interstate with another family member to pray. I had no idea what to say to these precious people so I kept saying how sorry I was for them. As I walked away, one man just kept yelling at me to please keep praying for them. In the words of Michelle from Full House, you got it dude! I broke down immediately as I got back in my truck and couldn't help but think of another dear friend who's brother was in a very similar accident several years ago when she and I first met. I prayed for her, her brother, and the rest of her family. I'm asking you all to stop what you're doing and pray for this family. Pray for their hurting hearts. Pray for their anger. Pray for their strength. Pray for their healing. Prayer is powerful!

Sometimes we are called to step outside the box. Go beyond what we are used to or comfortable with. Don't ignore that calling!!!

Whew wee!!!

I've realized I'm not as good as some at keeping up with my blog so I've decided to just add pictures with small captions. This is mainly so I can come back for a trip down memory lane from time to time. So, feel free to tag along! For now, I have a few prayer requests. First, please pray I make it this week without shedding tears. Linden was with us all week last week and it will be some kind of quiet at our house. I tell you, those three have so much fun together!!!! And secondly, Daniel and I have several friends we'd like you to lift up with us. These sweet friends are traveling down the same or very similar road that we traveled not so long ago. It's a bumpy road, y'all! Pray for strength, perseverance, and peace. One friend of ours has recently found out she and her husband are expecting twin girls (secretly I was hoping they'd both be girls). We are beyond thrilled for them!!!! And lastly, a dear, sweet friend who loves on our babies and steals kisses and hugs weekly has been diagnosed with breast cancer. We love her dearly. Thank y'all for listening and praying with us!!!

Screaming match with a bull rider.

Time has flown since school started, and we've been so busy! With everyday routines being as busy as they are with the girls and Daniel having shoulder surgery last month(not rotator), I'm exhausted. Still loving every minute of our lives, but "TI-RED"!
Both girls have learned to roll all over the place, sit up, and rock back and forth on their hands and knees. Hayden now has her first tooth just barely poking through her sweet gums! No more gummy smiles- just teefy ones. It's funny how the girls switch roles. People ask me all the time which baby is more difficult, and I just tell them it depends on the day. Addison has pretty much been the more laid back daughter while Hayden required a little more attention. It didn't take long for Addison to take on that role. I have found now it's easier on my nerves when I take Hayden out first every afternoon when we get home. She doesn't fuss like Addison does in the afternoon. Now, our afternoon routine is to all have a snack together. Then, the girls play for a little bit while I get our dinner ready and breakfast and lunch ready for the next day. One thing remains the same about the girls is that they LOVE each other and lately, they think they are pretty funny! Our friends let us borrow a "Johnny Jump Up" and we had a gift card to buy another one. We have them hanging in close proximity of each other. Hayden begins jumping immediately, but Addison isn't as coordinated. It takes her a minute to get warmed up. Hayden holds on with one hand while the other one flings in the air. My little bull rider! She also likes to scream and wait for a response. So, I scream back, and she screams back at me. She thinks it's so fun. All the while, Addison is simply excited to be jumping. (I'll try to post a video of them jumping this weekend.)

Thank you, Lord, for these blessings!

You big dummy!

After reading a friend's blop update, I was remeinded of the man I encountered at the post office the other day. Let me begin by saying I have 5 month old TWINS so I am not the skinniest mom out there post pregnancy. I was waiting in line to buy some stamps and had the girls with me. The man looked at me and said, "Your children will be close in age, huh?" I replied (thinking Hello!! They're twins!) "Yes, they're twins so they are only one minute apart. He said, "No, I meant them and the one you're expecting." First of all, isn't there some rule out there that all men just understand you do NOT ask a woman about pregnancy. Period. Secondly, I know I'm not the super model I NEVER used to be. And lastly, well, I don't have a lastly, but you don't ask a woman about her pregnancy that she may or may not be going through. I'll go running now...

Whew!

Boy, how fast the last five months have flown by! I love my girls to pieces and could not imagine life without them. I know Daniel and I didn't sit around and twittle our thumbs before we knew we were expecting or before they were born, but for the life of me, I can't remember what we did. Now, we wake up by 6 or 7 every morning to feed the girls who eat like they haven't eaten in a week. Daniel heads off to work, and it's just me and the girls for the rest of the day. The hours of 4-6 have become our "hold on 'til Daddy gets home" hours. I've been told those are the witching hours-don't really know why. Maybe because Mommy looks like a witch from pulling out her hair or crying with babies as they cry. Either way, we are loving life these days. Just an update from last month, (my apologies for any repeats for I don't always remember what I've posted previously) Hayden now rolls over from tummy to back, but doen't know how to roll from back to tummy yet. This is fine with me except for at 2 a.m. when she is flapping her arms and legs like a turtle upside down in the middle of a busy street. I go in her room to help her out and almost always get a giggle out of her; almost as if she meant to roll over so she could get me to come in there. Way to go Hay Hay! It works. Now, as for Addison, she has started pushing up on all fours. She knows she can do something else besides roll over so she has started moving her feet as she pushes up, but can't quite figure out how to move her feet and push up all the way at the same time. I'm new at all of this parenting stuff, but I think we may have a creeper soon. Yikes! Better make sure we are baby proofed at the house. Both girls have really begun to "talk" a lot lately. It's fun to watch them talk to each other. Even though there are no words yet, I still believe there's some serious conversation going on! Love these two rugginrats!

Praying!

I've always considered prayer as an important part of my everyday routine. I'm ashamed to say that sometimes it was just that-routine. I don't want to take my conversations with God for granted so this week I am going to make a conscious effort to remember to pray for people and their situations. I plan on doing this by stopping to pray for them as they come to my mind throughout the day. I will begin by praying for a person who holds a special place in my heart. I've never met this person, but I know he was very special to those who did know him. You see, he was only 3 months old. That is only a few weeks younger than my girls. I am not going to mention his name out of respect for the family, but I would like for you to join with me in prayer for this sweet little man who struggled to breathe almost daily and had seizures regularly among other struggles. He no longer has these struggles as he is probably sitting in the lap of Jesus right now. Please pray with me for his family who misses him dearly.

Mother...

...Lover! I sure do love my moma and couldn't pass up the opportunity to write a little blurb about her and the other amazing women in my life! I must admit that I've not always had a very close relationship with Moma, but what teenage girl does? Now that I'm older, teach children, and have children, I have a new found respect for my mom. She has never said to us, "One day you'll understand-when you have children of your own." I'm pretty sure she thought it many times, though. I do understand, Moma, the love you have for me and Madz. I'm beginning to understand the hurt you felt when we hurt, and I'm sure I'll understand sooner than later that it really does "hurt you more than me" when correcting or disciplining your children. For all of that, I am extremely thankful. Thank you for loving me when it seemed like I didn't love you. Thank you for sacrificing yourself in order to provide things for me and Madz as we grew up. Thank you for teaching me self control, respect for others, and respect for myself. Thank you for taking things away from me as a form of discipline, and thank you for sticking to your guns in that discipline. Most of all, thank you for raising us in church!!!

You see, my mom and I (and Madz) talk to each other DAILY! Yes, daily. Even if it is just to call and say "I love you", we talk every day. One night this week, Moma and I were talking (as I was cleaning under my washing machine), and somehow we got on the subject of prayer. What a powerful subject to talk to your mom about!! We both confessed to each other that we have thought for a long time that your prayers have to use big words and be very eloquent. Over the years and through certain circumstances in our lives, we've learned that you don't even have to have your eyes closed when talking to Jesus! At least, we better not have our eyes closed when talking to Jesus while driving down the road!! That's a far cry from what we previously thought about prayer.  We also revealed to each other how we knew Jesus always answered prayers, but we have never experienced it so personally until just recently. I told her of a very recent experience I had with a prayer being answered. I was returning from a trip to Tuscaloosa a few weeks ago when Hayden had begun to cry with about 15 miles to go. No wait! Not cry- SCREAM! She was hungry and tired of being in the car. I had sung every hymn that I could think of until she'd had enough and continued to scream through my singing. I did the only other thing I knew to do. I called Daniel and asked him to go in the girls' room, kneel beside Hayden's bed and "pray me home". He never hesitated. Five minutes after I hung up the phone, SILENCE! Thank you Lord!!!

During our times of "trying", Daniel and I had some dark days for sure, but we never lost hope because God's word says He has plans for us to prosper. Why would He say that if He didn't mean it? He wouldn't! So, how did we get through those dark days you ask? PRAYER!!! I can remember (prepare to laugh out loud) days when Satan was after me, and I'd do what I call a Jesus dance in the privacy of my home. The dance basically consisted of me kicking Satan out of my life. I'm sorry, but Jesus is here and there ain't no room for you, Satan!!! None at all. When Daniel and I would feel ourselves losing our grip on faith, we'd get on our knees before God asking Him to continue provide strength and patience. Time after time, He'd do just that! We'd also thank Him for answering our prayers- even the ones we had not yet voiced. So, you see, prayer is awesome!!!! I must give the credit to my amazing parents for being fearless and raising me in church. I also must thank the other women who continue to encourage us through life's roller coaster. We would not be where we are today without great Sunday School teachers and mentors. Thank you all so much for "praying us through".

Happy Mother's Day, Moma! Happy Mother's Day, Madz! This new mom loves you both very much!!!

Trashy...

This will be a pretty silly post, but I really do love trash day. I can't stand clutter. In fact, it makes me anxious. So I throw away things away a lot! I have been known to throw away a birthday check once. Sorry Oma! Thank goodness she loves me enough to write another one. She also loves me enough to write a sweet note that says "Don't throw this one away." Love that Oma!!! Anyway, back to why I really love trash day. It allows me the chance to throw away things that are cluttering up my house and I don't have to ask permission. If Daniel knew all of the things I threw away, I'd probably be in trouble. So, shhhh! Our little secret. Happy "trashy hump" day.

Vest free

This past Tuesday Granny and Pop came over to keep the girls while I went for a second opinion on my heart stuff. I went to a different cardiologist here in Jackson just to make sure the "plan" for improvement was the right thing to do and more specifically to ask about my ejection fraction and the vest I was wearing. Remember? The defribilator??? Well, turns out I don't have to wear the vest and my ejection fraction had improved!!! Not a great deal of improvement, but not stagnant either! Praise the Lord!!!

Whew!!!

It's certainly been a while since I've blogged. I'm hoping to keep up with it at least once a week. Even if it's something short and sweet each time. So, to catch things up- the baby girls have been born. What a glorious day February 20, 2012 was! Addison Ray came into this world weighing 7 lbs 10 oz at 10:53 a.m. and her sister, Hayden Banes wasn't far behind her. One minute to be exact- 10:54 and weighing 6 lbs 15 oz. Both are doing very well now at six weeks old. Six weeks passes very quickly just in case you didn't know. I was diagnosed with postpartum cardiomyopathy two days after we brought the girls home. I was admitted to ICU for two days, and now I wear a portable defibilator at all times. It's not fun, but there's a small chance that my heart could go into V-fib. I'm exercising daily and taking blood pressure medicines in order to get my heart back to normal function. Slowly but surely! Maybe tomorrow I'll find time to upload some pictures. For now, I'll say my prayers and catch some much needed "shut eye".

Thanks be to....

Usually we say, "Thanks be to God", but today not only am I saying this, but I am saying, "Thanks be to my husband!" Thank you Daniel for listening to all of my venting today! Right off the bat I was in a poo poo mood with my crunchy toast and then I was ready to punt Noel out the door when she vomited on the floor that I just mopped this weekend! I decided to go grocery shopping at the new Kroger in Madison to boost my spirits and get into the Thanksgiving spirit by getting all the "stuffings" for the stuffing, pecan pies, sweet potato casserole... You get the point. Well, little sweet lady in front of me in that big ol' store decided to stop in the middle of the aisle to take a look-see at a two year old pushing buggy her size with her own groceries. I was not there to socialize or watch a little girl push around her groceries with mommy. MOVE LADY!!!!!!!!!!!! (Yes, my pregnancy hormones are in full swing.) Finally, I'm at the check out counter, and I feel the need for a coke. While I'm getting my coke, a clerk grabbed my buggy and said, "Hey ma'am I'm going to take your stuff over here and get you started." He took my buggy to the self check out and completely does it all for me. THANKS DUDE!!! After all of this, I probably should have just gone home, but I had to run to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. Anyone knows that when you go to that store, just picking up a few things means you always leave with more bags than you intended to leave with. Same here! I got up to the counter, yet again, and accidentally threw something on the counter. I apologized to the cashier who thought nothing of it. I, then, bumped my funny bone on the counter which is NEVER a funny thing to do. Did I mention that I should have just gone home after Kroger???? Yes, I did! Well, I paid for my "more bags than I intended..." and nearly walked out without any of it. I kept telling the cashier I needed to start over, and of course, I repeated this when she came running and yelling after me to remind me that I did NOT have any of my bags. Thanks lady!!!!!!! I would have been sad and frustrated if I had gotten home without all of what I went to get. Thanks Daniel for listening to my venting about all of this stuff and helping me laugh at it all. I love you and am very thankful God made you just for me. Boy, did He know what He was doing?! I never doubted it, but times like today make me appreciate it more and more.

"Mind Your Own Beezwax..."

I try to stay out of "Facebook business" such as all of the commenting on how "horribly we (the state of MS) voted" yesterday on Initiative 26. This time I feel the urge to share my opinion on this matter. It infuriates me to know that people think I voted "horribly" when I voted NO on defining a person. I am very much prolife or I would not have tried for almost 5 years to have children, but I didn't feel this "change" was the best thing for our state. I, like many others, did tons of research on the Initiative. Not only did I search the internet, but I talked to friends, discussed with various attorneys, and talked to both of my doctors- ObGyn and fertility doctor. I also consulted the Great Physician all BEFORE making my final decision. I felt and still feel that this initiative left too much room for question. I voted NO yesterday, and I have absolutely no doubt that Jesus will still welcome me into heaven when He calls me home. I have not and do not plan to judge those who have voted YES. So, please don't judge me for my choices either for without invitro fertilization Daniel and I wouldn't have had the opportunity to become parents.

Tardy...

I know I'm behind in the updating of our pregnancy, but when I come home most days and crash on the couch after work until Daniel comes home with dinner, I don't feel like accomplishing much at all. The sad part about all of this is that "work" for me now consists of supervising and helping the students one on one while my student teacher teaches away! I am very thankful to have her this semester because otherwise I don't know what I'd do.

On to all things baby!!! We are currently 19 weeks and counting, down that is. At our last appointment, our dr. said we are half way through the pregnancy for twins. Woah!!!!!!!! Where did time go??? We had a great check-up last week, and are proud to say we have two healthy baby GIRLS on the way. When the sonographer confirmed the sex of the babies, Daniel asked if we could have a boy dog. I think he's feeling a little out numbered already. That's ok because I know he already loves his girls and they will have him wrapped around their little fingers in no time, if they don't already. Both babies were measuring great and had great heartbeats. That's my favorite part of going to the dr for check-ups-hearing that "thump, thump, thump" of their yittle hearts pounding away. What a miraculous sound?! I've always wondered what it would "feel" like to be pregnant, and I told someone just recently that God said, "Here ya go times two!" We've had appointments every four weeks from the very beginning, and each time Daniel and I could see the babies just a moving around, but I couldn't feel any of that movement yet. Well, all of that has changed! In fact, tonight Daniel and I were sitting on the couch watching tv (being normal couch potatoes) when I told him that I really needed to go wash my face, brush my teeth, and go to bed, but the girls were moving and I didn't want to get up. I knew that as soon as I got up to go do all of that stuff they'd quit moving-almost as if I would be rocking them to sleep as I moved around. I didn't want that feeling to stop. I eventually got ready for bed and sure enough, they stopped moving. As soon as I put my head on that pillow, though, there they go again!!! Aghhh!!! What a wonderful and reassuring feeling?!

Now, I'm up (at almost 2 a.m.) for my routine "snack" of Froot Loops. Usually it's one bowl, but tonight or this morning, shall I say, it was two. I decided to blog as I chowed down on the fruity circles drowning in milk. (Milnk- just for you Madz!)

This has been and continues to be such an amazing journey. I look forward to everything God has in store for us in the very near future. I have a feeling it's going to be just a few sleepless nights in Gluckstadt in the next few months, but just a few because our babies will sleep through the night very soon, right????? Right.................... :)

A Look Back: Our IVF Timeline

April 2011- called Dr. Isaacs to get started, gather all info. we needed, and began birth control and Synthroid

May 27- began taking a baby aspirin daily along with Synthroid, birth control and vitamins.

May 30- met w/Dr. Isaacs to get schedule and order all medications (even for Daniel)

June 2- appt. for ultrasound & blood work (all was good)

June 6- stop birth control

June 10- appt. w/Dr. Isaacs for ultrasound & blood work. Began shots daily (2/day)-Daniel begins his antibiotic twice daily for 7 days. Me: off of caffeine.

June 11- shots and I told Daniel I’d be glad to make his antibiotic into liquid form so he could have a shot too and not feel left out. J He politely declined.

June 12-13- shots and other meds

June 14- shots, other meds, and appt. to check follicles (at least 20 or more present and all were measuring 11mm or below). Also had blood work done to check estrogen level (high- reduced meds in shots)- began a shot of Ganirellix to keep from ovulating.

June 15- shots and Ganirellix

June 16- shots, other meds, and appt. to check follicles (24 total & all measuring 10mm-16mm) Daniel gave shots as usual this day, but for some reason it seemed like he was stabbing me. He always looked at me with puppy dog eyes and asked if he did ok. When I’d respond he’d always say, “I’m sorry. I love you. Thank you for going through this for us.”

June 17- shots and other meds

June 18- shots, other meds, and appt. to check follicles- Begin Lupron @ 10 p.m. ( I know we said we weren’t going to do Lupron, but the nurse assured us that this time it wouldn’t be as strong and not have the same side effects.)

June 19- no regular shots, but last Lupron @ 10 a.m.

June 20- egg retrieval (28 eggs!)- pretty bad cramping afterwards and very bloated feeling. Gas pain was HORRIBLE & couldn’t comfortable enough enough to sleep until about 3 a.m. Daniel rolled over just after I’d dozed off and kneed me in the rear, not on purpose, but oh how painful it was?!

June 21- take Estrace a.m. and p.m. Liz called from the lab to tell me the success of fertilized eggs. 14 ICSI and 10 fertilized; 14 conventional and 10 fertilized. These are awesome results, but not to say they’ll continue to grow. Liz will call me daily to discuss the progress of the embryos with hopes of transfer on Saturday.

June 22- 18 embryos today 2 looked abnormal yesterday w/3 nuclei and that leaves us with 18 embryos. Liz says they’re doing really well.

June 23- feeling more like myself today. I guess laying around all day yesterday helped. All 18 embryos still growing & ½ of them look great. I even went for a short run and it felt great!

June 24- All 18 still growing with transfer tomorrow @ 9 a.m.

June 25- Valium @ 8 and a full bladder. Transfer was a breeze. Transferred 2 embryos and have a picture. Bed rest today and for the next two days.

June 26- bed rest, lots of TV, reading, and napping.

June 27- bed rest and same as yesterday – a bit of a meltdown today due to a bad case of the “what ifs”

July 1- blood work looks great. Progesterone:30 and they wanted it to be at least 20; Estrogen was 227 and they wanted it to be at least 200.

July 5- blood work @ 9 a.m. Beta HcG 489; Progesterone: 36. WE ARE PREGNANT!!!! I pulled out old pregnancy tests from so many years of trying and took one. J It was fun to see it say “pregnant”.

July 6- took another pregnancy test- still pregnant. J

July 7- blood work today- #s look great! HcG should double every 48 hrs: Today it was 1,280. Keep growing little ones!

July 9- We went home to Meridian today to take Moma and Poppie a “house warming” present and Daniel’s mom an early birthday present. When we told both our parents, I read our intro into our journey & allowed them to open their presents. Both were shocked and ecstatic!

July 10- Madz was having a not so great day today and had accidentally dropped Stephen’s grilling plate that Linden gave him for Father’s day. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to travel to have a long visit with her in Tuscaloosa this summer so I decided to make her “not so great day” a little better. She kept asking me to say it again so she could make sure she heard me right.

July 13- Beta HcG: 23,489; Estrogen 699; Progesterone 29 (I’m still taking the progesterone shot nightly.)

July 21- 1^st ultrasound to determine how many embryos took. TWINS!!! Hearing and seeing both heartbeats is the best sound ever! No more Dr. Isaacs. We will miss them!

August 10- ultrasound with regular OB. All went well! Still two heartbeats (178 & 181).

August 19- no more progesterone shots. NO MORE SHOTS period!!! Yahoo!

August 22- ultrasound… all is well. Heartbeats were great (168 & 171) and babies are growing and MOVING great.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow….

Memory Lane

Before we began this whole IVF process, Daniel and I had to do some serious praying because we didn’t want to be doing this because we wanted it so bad, but we so desperately wanted and still want to do what He wants us to do. Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between your own feelings and what God is trying to tell you. We also had to save our pennies. A lot of them! We knew going into this that it would take a toll on us both emotionally and financially. December 2009, was a scary month for us since I was on a Lupron shot in hopes of “killing” any endometriosis that was still there. Lupron made me a completely different person. A person who no longer wanted to be around anyone else and a person who even had a thought of taking her own life. That is NOT me! So with that being in the back of our minds, we decided to pray our way through this process.

We promised each other that if Lupron was going to be in the picture for IVF that we’d be ok with not following through. We also promised each other that we would continue to let God use this to bring us closer to each other, but more importantly, closer to Him instead of letting it be a wedge between us in our marriage.

In the beginning of the process, Daniel and I took a beach trip with my sister, Madz, and her sweet little family. As we were on our way back home, we were listening to K-Love radio and “Blessings” came on. That song really hits home with me because what if trials of this life are our mercies in disguise? Makes you think, huh? Another song came on the radio by Third Day, “Cry Out to Jesus”. This song makes me want to kick myself because how often do we think and try to do things on our own, but just when it doesn’t work out the way we had planned, we cry out to Jesus? We cry out and say we’re sorry for not trusting Him in the beginning, but if we are truly sorry wouldn’t we simply trust Him in the first place? I need to follow the advice I give my students all the time when they say “sorry” for doing wrong. If you are truly sorry, you wouldn’t do it again.

Now that I’ve given you a brief introduction to our journey through this, I hope you enjoy taking a trip down our “memory lane”, and we ask that you continue to pray for us. By no means is this journey over. So, we ask that you pray specifically for strength, encouragement, faith, hope, and love.